Our first connection with another person is usually through our sense of sight. We see them, they have an appeal and as a result, we are drawn to communicate with them. But, despite what we may believe, what entices us to the opposite sex is far deeper than simply physical attraction.

As we become closer, it is our other senses that start to come into the equation, whether it is the sound of their voice, how they like touch and be touched and what they taste like. But, it is our sense of smell that, in many ways, is our greatest influence when it comes to our erotic life.

Within all of us, we possess our own unique aroma and what we smell like becomes a key factor in the veracity of our relationships. So, it is paradoxical that the cosmetic industry, in their infinite wisdom, has denounced our natural smell as unacceptable. We are conditioned to use deodorants, body sprays, colognes and perfumes that are usually chemical based. To breathe in the aroma and nuances of your beloved can be a revealing and uplifting experience. If we are covering up our unique smell then it is the same as wearing a mask to cover our identity.

Through the science of aromatherapy, pure and natural fragrances and aromas become an intrinsic part of Tantric love. Aroma is a facet of intimacy that is often overlooked or not considered important as part of intimate relating. But like all the senses, its role in creating arousal and deep passion cannot be underestimated.

Aromatherapy is the use of pure essential oils (distilled from seeds, roots, leaves, bark and flowers to enhance and balance the mind, body and spirit) as only these pure oils contain the full spectrum of components that synthetics cannot duplicate. Utilising aromatherapy comes in many forms and unlike many manufactured perfumes and colognes, high quality aromatherapy oils actually enhance one’s aromatic mystique rather than hiding it.

Fragrant oils’ or ‘perfume oils’ are not the same as essential oils as they carry harmful chemicals and they do not provide therapeutic benefits. Smell is the most enduring of our senses because it works on the limbic system of the brain. When stimulated with touch, aromatherapy has the power to transform our emotions, heal our bodies and produce feelings of well-being as well as pave the way for sexual communication between two people as a part of foreplay.

Some of the ways you can use essential oils are as follows:

  • Oil Burner

6 drops of oil in water will slowly emit soft fumes that will enhance the ambience of a room, creating a sensual, romantic environment

  • Bath

When sharing a bath to allow a deeper experience, just add 5-10 drops of oil before you enter the bath and disperse the concentration of oil by moving the water. You can use milk, sea salt or a carrier oil to dilute the oils and reduce the possibility or irritation.

  • Message

Use about 15 drops of essential oil is 15ml of carrier oil such as sweet almond, sunflower or apricot kernel oil. The added aroma deepens tactile connection and uplifts the sensuality of the encounter. You can also purchase blended massage oils.

A carrier, or base oil, is used to carry the essential oil onto the skin. Carrier oils should be cold pressed vegetable oils which are safe and allergy free. Examples of these oils are sweet almond, apricot, olive and sunflower.

Whilst using any of the above methods, try to enhance the atmosphere by adding gentle music and candles and enjoy each other!

Essential oils are a matter of personal preference, so make sure you test each aroma before you use it. They can also be blended together to produce a synergy that can be more potent than individual oils.

Here are some ideas for combining oils to suit the mood:


Combining a few drops each of rose geranium, patchouli, sandalwood and lavender creates a mood enhancing fusion. The flowery aroma of the geranium sits well with the balancing versatility of lavender, the muskiness of patchouli and the woody, sensual aroma of sandalwood.


If you are in the mood for something more seductive, from the above ingredients, replace the rose geranium with ylang ylang – an oil that is intensely exotic and deeply arousing. These oils together offer an aroma that has a subtle yet powerful aphrodisiac quality.


If passion is in the air and you are planning for an encounter that is truly deep and meaningful, blend the sensuality of ylang ylang with the uplifting, confidence building quality of bergamot and the exquisite floral fragrance of rose absolute. Love will arise and passion will spring forth.


Once passion has entered the equation, then ecstasy is but a short step away. Taking ylang ylang and bergamot, add orange for an aroma blend that will whisk you into the night on a cloud of bliss.


There are many people who want their encounter to be earthy, intense and raw. For this, you can’t go past a combination of the herbaceous and uplifting clary sage, the aromatic rose geranium and the deeply erotic rosewood, patchouli and sandalwood.

Stress relief

To uplift the mood and relieve stress, create a union of the woodiness of cedarwood, the richness of rosewood and the calming spirit of lavender and orange. These oils will invigorate your senses and allow your spirits to soar.

So the next time you find yourself in a position for some intimate romance, consider introducing some basic aromatherapy to the occasion.

Some DON’Ts when using aromatherapy

It is important to note that despite aromatherapy is a pure form of nature, there are a number of precautions that you will need to take note of:

  1. Never use an essential oil undiluted on the skin
  2. Some oils can cause an allergic reaction for some people. To test for any possible allergic reactions, dab a little diluted oil on the inside of the elbow and apply a bandage for 24 hours to see if there is a reaction.
  3. Treat oils like medicine and keep them away from children
  4. Do not consume oils
  5. Essential oils are flammable. Always dilute oils in water when using in a burner.
  6. There are many arguments as to what oils avoid when pregnant. While lavender is one of the safest oils, it is still recommended that you seek out the advice of a professional aromatherapist